"Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry." Ephesians 4:26
MARITAL STRIFE HOW TO
During a break, I found myself privately consulting a very Good Book to remind myself how to be a better husband. The next morning, we had some business in a downtown office building. One evening recently, Meg and I went to bed with a dispute unresolved. But like any couple, we have to work through our differences. My 10-year marriage to my wife has been terrific. “If you learn … how to manage disagreement early,” she says in the article, “then you can avoid the decline in marital happiness that follows from the drip, drip of negative interactions.” “Try harder to make better,” advises University of Chicago sociologist Linda J. The message: Spousal hostility can negatively affect your marriage and your body.
MARITAL STRIFE SKIN
A subsequent study saw marital hostility correlate with slower healing of skin wounds. Sure enough, relationship hostility saw immune-system declines. The New York Times article reported on a novel experiment by Ronald Glaser and Jan Kiecolt-Glaser at Ohio State University College of Medicine arranged for 90 newlywed couples to have their blood drawn during discussions of potentially volatile issues, such as housework, sex, and in-laws. The article quotes marriage historian Stephanie Coontz: “It is the relationship, not the institution, that is key.” Newlywed Games But according to the newspaper, “One recent study suggests that a stressful marriage can be as bad for the heart as a regular smoking habit.” Pneumonia, surgery, cancer, and heart attacks are rarer among marrieds than unmarrieds. The New York Times article surveyed contemporary research on relationships and health. Or when I interrupt her by trying to finish her sentences-especially when my assumptions of what she would say are incorrect-her icy (she says “wounded”) silence makes my neck hot and my stomach tight. Maybe that’s why when I’m less kind than I should be and my wife and I snap at-or ignore-each other, I sometimes sense a cold coming on. Stress and unresolved conflict can weaken the immune system. People in troubled relationships can end up having more health problems than the never married. But recent research indicates that the quality of the marriage may be what counts.
So learn to fight fair.įor years, scientists have known that married people tend to be healthier and live longer than the unmarried. If you’re married, being happily married seems to matter most. “Is Marriage Good for Your Health?’” asked The New York Times headline.
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